'08 Presidential election? Child's play!

Sick of almost two years of presidential campaigning? Had enough of Dems and G.O.P.ers? Hug it out!

Head over to eBay for a charity auction where you can win a one-of-a-kind Cabbage Patch Kids doll, depicting either Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama, his running mate Joe Biden, Republican presidential candidate John McCain or his pick for VP, that cutie Sarah Palin (who I think is a real doll with a button nose), seen here.

All the money raised in the auctions goes to the Marines' "Toys for Tots" program, which I donate new, unwrapped toys to every Christmas. Still, I won't be able to afford these toys.

As I post this, the Illinois senator here is going for $2,850. But that's nothing compared to the hockey mom-turned-Alaskan governor: The Sarah Palin doll with Xavier Roberts' signature on her buttcheek is going for $96,000! That's still a steal compared to the real VP hopeful's wardrobe tab.

Still, the money goes for a good cause, and fortunately, bidding will likely spike just moments before these auctions end on the evening of Election Day.

In case you missed the Cabbage Patch Kids fad a quarter-century ago (when the Arizona senator here was in his late 40s), moms and dads beat each other up in toy stores when these things first came out. Luckily, a few years after the craze reached its peak, I was able to buy my mom a pair of 'em for Christmas, both baseball players: one wearing a Cabbage Patch Kids uniform, the other a 1986 Mets jersey and pants ... both complete with batting helmet.

These days, both Mom's Kids are sitting, inside their boxes, in the darkness of one of Dad's closets!

Ironically, whoever shells out the big bucks for these political Kids will likely keep them in their original wrapping, never to be touched by human hands -- more investment than toy. Still, with the money going to a great cause, who cares if the winners burn or shred their Kids, as long as the tots get lots of toys in return?!

So forget CNN or Fox News. I'll be checking presidential returns on eBay Tuesday evening to see who the real winners are!